One of the biggest sources of difficulty in a marriage is decision making. How should decisions be made regarding finances, children, religion, vacations, where to live, etc., etc.?
Remember, the Bible is the answer key, so we can find the correct answer by looking there:
"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." -Ephesians 5:22-24
"Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." -Colossians 3:18
So, it looks pretty clear what the answer is, so I guess I'm finished...
But, wait, I think it's a little bit more complicated. Here in the U. S., we live in a time of equal rights for men and women (whether or not we have an amendment to the Constitution that says so). Women today are well-educated, and are taught to be self-sufficient and have opinions of their own.
I think the Bible says that the husband has the right to make the decisions regarding the family and household, but I don't see that it says that he must exercise that right. In this day and age, I think decisions are best made when the husband and wife work together. You know the saying, "Two heads are better than one!"
I think there is a time and place when a husband and wife cannot arrive at a decision, for example, if no compromise is possible. (For example, do we send the kids to private school or public school?) In a case like this, the husband has the Biblically-based right to make the decision, and the wife should submit. (And no "cold shoulders" or "silent treatments" - wives, do you really think that's what the Lord means when he says submit?) However, husbands, please listen to this: I would only play that ace very infrequently, maybe only once or twice in a lifetime. You should only play that ace if the decision is extremely important - do not abuse this God-given right.
And, when possible, involve the kids too. For example, if you're buying a new car, the parents could choose the make and model, and you could let the kids choose the color! Don't you think that if they are involved, the kids are more likely to support the family's activities and responsibilities, such as...washing the car?
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Christian divisions
After all of the years I've spent on this earth, I'm still surprised and dismayed at the extreme allegiance that some Christians have for their particular denomination!
Some of the reasons for these "divisions" into Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, Presbyterian, etc. are not harmful. Some of them are simply historical in basis. Some people feel more comfortable worshipping in one style than another. Some people might feel more that a particular denomination's doctrinal stance is more consistent with their beliefs. Some people feel fulfillment in worshipping the same way that their parents, grandparents and great-grandparents did. I have no quibble with people who choose to attend church services of a particular denomination for these reasons.
But, I take issue with those whose denominational allegiance is so strong that they are convinced that their denomination has perfect doctine, and that all other groups are in serious error. Some take their over-the-top zeal so far that they believe that people in other Christian groups must be converted to their own personal church group.
There are a number of problems with the attitudes mentioned in the previous paragraph. For one, it does not reflect the humility that Jesus preached and that is taught elsewhere in the Bible. Second, it ignores the fact that only God is perfect. Third, it causes animosity between denominations, while the Bible teaches unity. Fourth, these contententious divisions are an obstacle to evangelism. I remember talking to someone from the Middle East about Christianity, and one of his biggest problems with Christianity was all of the in-fighting that Christians do. Fifth, the extreme allegiance some have to their particular denomination is not all that different from idolatry, something which the Bible especially warns us about.
Consider the following passages from the Bible:
"I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. My brothers, some from Chloe's household have informed me that there are quarrels among you. What I mean is this: One of you says, 'I follow Paul'; another, 'I follow Apollos'; another, 'I follow Cephas'; still another, 'I follow Christ.' Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized into the name of Paul?" - I Corinthians 1:10-13
"But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned." -Titus 3:9-11
"All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had." -Acts 4:32
"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." -John 17:20-23
The Bible sends a clear message of God's believers working together in love, humility and unity. Let's all strive with prayer and with God's help toward that goal!
Some of the reasons for these "divisions" into Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, Presbyterian, etc. are not harmful. Some of them are simply historical in basis. Some people feel more comfortable worshipping in one style than another. Some people might feel more that a particular denomination's doctrinal stance is more consistent with their beliefs. Some people feel fulfillment in worshipping the same way that their parents, grandparents and great-grandparents did. I have no quibble with people who choose to attend church services of a particular denomination for these reasons.
But, I take issue with those whose denominational allegiance is so strong that they are convinced that their denomination has perfect doctine, and that all other groups are in serious error. Some take their over-the-top zeal so far that they believe that people in other Christian groups must be converted to their own personal church group.
There are a number of problems with the attitudes mentioned in the previous paragraph. For one, it does not reflect the humility that Jesus preached and that is taught elsewhere in the Bible. Second, it ignores the fact that only God is perfect. Third, it causes animosity between denominations, while the Bible teaches unity. Fourth, these contententious divisions are an obstacle to evangelism. I remember talking to someone from the Middle East about Christianity, and one of his biggest problems with Christianity was all of the in-fighting that Christians do. Fifth, the extreme allegiance some have to their particular denomination is not all that different from idolatry, something which the Bible especially warns us about.
Consider the following passages from the Bible:
"I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. My brothers, some from Chloe's household have informed me that there are quarrels among you. What I mean is this: One of you says, 'I follow Paul'; another, 'I follow Apollos'; another, 'I follow Cephas'; still another, 'I follow Christ.' Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized into the name of Paul?" - I Corinthians 1:10-13
"But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned." -Titus 3:9-11
"All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had." -Acts 4:32
"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." -John 17:20-23
The Bible sends a clear message of God's believers working together in love, humility and unity. Let's all strive with prayer and with God's help toward that goal!
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