Marriage: Partnership or Dictatorship?

One of the biggest sources of difficulty in a marriage is decision making. How should decisions be made regarding finances, children, religion, vacations, where to live, etc., etc.?

Remember, the Bible is the answer key, so we can find the correct answer by looking there:

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." -Ephesians 5:22-24

"Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." -Colossians 3:18

So, it looks pretty clear what the answer is, so I guess I'm finished...

But, wait, I think it's a little bit more complicated. Here in the U. S., we live in a time of equal rights for men and women (whether or not we have an amendment to the Constitution that says so). Women today are well-educated, and are taught to be self-sufficient and have opinions of their own.

I think the Bible says that the husband has the right to make the decisions regarding the family and household, but I don't see that it says that he must exercise that right. In this day and age, I think decisions are best made when the husband and wife work together. You know the saying, "Two heads are better than one!"

I think there is a time and place when a husband and wife cannot arrive at a decision, for example, if no compromise is possible. (For example, do we send the kids to private school or public school?) In a case like this, the husband has the Biblically-based right to make the decision, and the wife should submit. (And no "cold shoulders" or "silent treatments" - wives, do you really think that's what the Lord means when he says submit?) However, husbands, please listen to this: I would only play that ace very infrequently, maybe only once or twice in a lifetime. You should only play that ace if the decision is extremely important - do not abuse this God-given right.

And, when possible, involve the kids too. For example, if you're buying a new car, the parents could choose the make and model, and you could let the kids choose the color! Don't you think that if they are involved, the kids are more likely to support the family's activities and responsibilities, such as...washing the car?