Finding a Church

We've been in our new town for about two months now, and we're still looking for a church. We've put this in God's hands. I've prayed repeatedly for guidance on this, and I believe he will lead us to the right place.

We've visited a number of places. We've tried three LCMS (Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod) churches. This was our first priority since my wife has been a life-long member of the LCMS. One was a very contemporary service. We liked it OK, but we were very turned off with the second visit - the "praise band" seemed to dominate the service, and seemed more interested in giving an amateur concert than leading the congregation in singing. People carried on loud conversations during the songs, and even got up from their seats to talk to others. We're not going back there. Another was a very small congregation - only about 20 people, and most were senior citizens. Even the members seemed to think the church was dying, and it sure felt like it. Another LCMS church we visited was OK, but it was a long way away, and they were searching for a new pastor, and seemed to be possibly searching for an identity also. We also tried an independent congregation, which is more my style, but while I liked it, my wife didn't seem very hopeful. We've also tried two ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church of America) churches. The first was very informal, maybe a little too informal, but we both generally liked it. But, it is quite far away from where we live. We attended another one this morning. It is a downtown church and very formal, maybe a little too formal for me. But there seems to be a lot going on there that we could possibly contribute to. Another factor we're dealing with is that the LCMS does not consider the ELCA to be as close in doctrine to them as you might imagine. But, I'm thinking that we'll settle in on one of those last two churches I've mentioned. (Once we choose one, we won't be nearly so picky with it! We just want to make sure we make a good choice before we commit ourselves!)

So, is this the right way to choose a church? Maybe a church should be chosen by family tradition. My wife, her parents, her sister and her family, and several of my wife's cousins are long-time LCMS members and they are very devoted to this particular denomination, and would be unhappy to see her leave the LCMS. Or, possibly, a church should be chosen based on its doctrinal positions. One could study the doctrinal stances of the major denominations, and also those of the local independent churches, and choose that way. To be honest, I haven't found a mainline denomination that doesn't have conflicts with the Bible. Or, possibly, one should choose a church that "feels" like the right fit: One in which you feel comfortable, has people who make you feel welcome, and has programs that you believe you can contribute to. It's especially tricky for a married couple or a family, because there are conflicting goals and opinions.

I don't know the correct answer to this. We're using a lot of prayer and patience. We're considering all of the factors mentioned in the previous paragraph. We're keeping our hearts and minds open to the direction of the Holy Spirit and we believe that through whatever means he chooses, he will lead us to the best church for us.